You Are Not Emodie your hair blackhighlights of purpleconverse on your feetnails painted pinkall black clothesa nose ring to matchdark eye make-uppretend to cryYou have never criedYou have never been strongYOu are not coolYou are not specialYou are mainstreamYou txt lik disYou think you are emoYou beg for attentionYou are annoyingAnd you don't understandStop pretending and saying " i'm so sad"or "this is who i really am"You scratch your skinAnd say you cutYou knik your wristAnd say you tried to kill yourselfYou search for attentionWhere it does not lieYou've never had one hard dayYou've never fought the battles we haveYou never haveYou never couldYou just wish you were as strong as usIt's not a good wish
Because Boys Hurt TooThis is for the boywho cries himself to sleep at nightwho cuts his arms and sidewho starves himselfwho burns and watches his skin melti love youbecause boys hurt too
I Survived SuicideTalking to him on the phone I heard him cryA silent tear slips down my cheekI can't feel this for him... no matter how much I love himWhy am I doing this???I take the knife and slice up my wristsA call comes inI reach for the phoneOne last word with the man I love.He begs me to stopHe says he'll never leaveHe reminds me of the good timesAnd what we could beThe kids we'll haveThe life we'll leaveI struggle to standAnd stop the bloodI let out a cry as the pain sears through meAs I fight for conciousnessAs I fight for lifeNow four months laterI look at the scarsThe darkest ones the run up my armsHe liedHe left meBut I'm still alivePraying my way through each and every dayFighting to not dieI cry each nightTill the morning lightWhy did he leave meWhy didn't I die.
Red shoesRed shoesOh how you sparkleRed shoestake me hometake me to ozkiss my feet ever so slowlyMake my toes curl up in your safe embraceStay with meDon't let me be freeShow me how to avoid the rocks and burrsRed shoesstay with meDon't leave me alone
Empty Heavens and Single HellsCome watch and understand why this happened.Play back in your mind all the times where two wrongs did not make a right.Come understand why he's dead, she's lost, and only fathers remain on the earth, working and dying in vain.Come acknowledge that the strongest man in the world allows tears to drip off his sweat stained lashes and that there is just one grave, one Hell, and an empty Heaven.Come closer and answer my question as to wether the grave holds the world or God or just His people.Tell me as for what reason was the world so quickly self-destructing.Where are all the so-called good and kind people?What thinks you as to why heaven is empty of sound, empty of angels, empty of God?Come see as i force you to believe what i say, as i shove it down your throat and into your brainso it may course through your veins and into the depths of your heart, then disinegrates to the invisibility of your soul.The truth was whispered from Satan into the ears of all peoplesending them ov
I'm a ChristianI'm a Christian.I'm not a hypocrite.I'm not a close-minded bigot.I'm not Liar.I'm not a crazy physco.I don't want anyone to go to hell.Where are your comments now?I love God.I love ALL people (And that includes homosexuals).Where are your words that say I'm a hater now?I sin daily.I'm just like you.I'm nothing like you.I AM LOVED!You are too, if you just ask to be.I'm not always happy.No, life's not perfect.I have my imperfections, just like you.God wipes my sins away, whenever I ask Him.I'm a Christian, I'm a recovering cutter, I am not invisible (Neither are you) and I am LOVED!
Murder is To Hate As....Murder is to Hate as a lamp is to a lightAll the sins all piled upEqualing just as muchThe lying is equal to the slave tradingThe rape is equal to the dishonoringAll the sins all piled upEqualing just as muchControversy stacks up highHigher than a plane will flyFlying high are our cruel wordsThe words are the same as the bulletsThe bullets the same as the wordsAll the sins are piled upEqualing just as much
Every Scar TellsEvery scar showing on my armEvery scar hidden on my legEvery scar that's still redAnd every scar that has fadedTell more than a story. Listen
Do You Believe In God? DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? SAY YES YOU PULL THE TRIGGERSing to me about that one dream.You know the one! the almost fairytale that you so carefully weaved.The one where I am a beautiful princess and you, my glorious king.Sing to me about the dream where we stopped sticking ourselves with needles for you.Oh please set apart that dream, constantly sing it to me.Whisper it sweetly in a lullaby form,because I would pull the trigger.Keep telling me about dry eyes and happy hearts about dead demons and forever kingdoms, make me believe in the happiness I can't see.I can't figure out what to believe.Hold me tight because I know you are not the devil.Keep singing to me that you love me andi don't have to check the fine printeven though I'm useless to you.Keep telling me that you took away all those coke stains on my heart.Sing to me on those long nights, abou
Thou Shall BurnClench my soul, go right ahead; ignite your flesh and I shall deem you dead.Dance with fire and thou shalt be burned, scorched to deformity with your soul never returned.Exceed your limits, turn away your falls, shall the trials begin beneath the walls?Oh yes, they shall, my dearest thing, for your fate will rest within this ebony ring.Such glory was enthralled into my soul, how you plead for its power, its superiority, its toll.Though alas you've proven not worthy of it all, hence your death shall be remarkable, forever now you shall fall.
broken dreams and invisible heartstringsEvery morning,she wakes up to ahollow chest & stormy,red rimmed eyes.It's so easy to be in lovewith being in love;swallowing fake truths& sincere lies.But her heart—it forgot how to smiletwo years ago,because no one can tellthe difference betweenimitations & reality."Please,please find me;I'm lost between the cracks ofdying stars."Desperate to breatheyet wondering how it would feelto drown,she's never belongedin this universe.
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.The truth is that I want to die. "I'm tired" is not even done.It really means "I'm tired of being no one" "I'm better" is but a curse.The truth is that I've never been worse "I'm just cold" is what I sayso my sleeves can hide my scars away. "I already ate" is said with a frown.I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down. "I'm okay" is probably the worst.It really means I'm about to burst. All these things are lies to me.But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
When Your Best is Not Good EnoughDon't speak.Don't move.Don't think.Don't dream.Don't hold yourself together.Don't fall apart.Don't pretend it is all going to be okay.Don't act like it won't be all right.Don't touch me.Don't look away from me.Don't be so needy.Don't be so grateful.Don't act silly.Don't be so serious.Don't have so much fun.Don't be so sullen.Don't cry.Don't laugh.Don't smile.Don't frown.Don't love anyone too much.Don't be so selfish.Don't ignore me.Don't love me too much.Don't breathe.Don't exist....And hope? Hope is just a lie you tell yourself so that tomorrow, you can do it all over again.
AstrologicalI have lost myself toVenus & Mars,tangled in their mismatched limbs.Just dream dust & shattered prayersbegging for a new set of skin(she can't remember where she orbits).Pluck these fractured wings;the Sun & Moon no longer acheto see me fly in their luster.
Ode to BrasOh bra, dear bra,such close friends we are.Never straying by my side,never going far.But bra, dear bra,I must confess it this day:At times you can be painful,and my skin tends to flay.Oh bra, dear bra,why must you be so conflicting?Meant to hold up females modestly,yet force us into awkward itching.So bra, dear bra,I am afraid I must ask:For being such a wondrous garment,why must you be such an ass?Oh bra, dear bra,so tenacious around our chests.Would it kill your rigid fabricto alleviate our suffering breasts?Yes bra, dear bra,I mean my words today.Kindly stop your aches and painsor a dirty game I'll be forced to play.Oh bra, dear bra,I wish it this truth to not be so.If only you were reasonableand rid us of our feminine woe.
A Happy EndingA stranger walked by a crying little girl,Tear and blood stains on her sleevesHe asked, "Darling are you okay?" She nodded.He took her heart and then took leave.A small boy crossed the little girl,Mascara crawling down her face,He asked how she was and she sighed, "Fine."He grabbed her toys and left with no trace.A lonely mother glanced at the girl,Bleeding out in the middle of the street.She asked her nothing, too weighed down with grief,And stole the shoes off the young girl's feet.The girl's soul mate was crawling by,Bleeding, in pain, with a fever hot.When the girl lied and said she was okay,He kissed her and whispered, "No you're not."
Can't Find JoyI stole the smiles from both of my parent’s facesThe very same one I was responsible forOn the day I was delivered into their armsIn a cloth, from the beak of a black feathered storkFrom the very first day with my very first breathThough I was not able to speak a single wordIt was evident as the nurses bowed their headsThat this boy with the dilated pupils was cursedEverything I’ve ever grown to love and desireIn one way or another I have now destroyedYet still I have the temerity to questionWhy it is that I can never seem to find joyI stole the smiles from both of my parent’s facesI would do anything at all to give them backBut some wicked actions can never be undoneAnd some statements I have made I cannot retractRegardless of the depths that I sank or swam toWhether I was responsible for what was wrongMy lugubrious mood could always be soothedWith memories of the black feathered stork’s bird songEvery page my trembling hand has ever turned
The feelings I can't expressTimes like this when I can’t find the rights words.Times like this when I find myself crying.As I have no way to express.But this pencil twirling in my hand.Sometimes I’ll make art, and proudly show it.Sometimes I’ll make shit, and quickly destroy it.With either I find they both seem to end in the same way.With a simple message, strewed through long and tedious words.That could be said much simpler, and probably has.But still I say it, for it’s all I have.
Little StarYou think you're the star,Flying way up high.Nothing can touch you.You own the sky.Your colors are bright,no one shines brighter.You're number one....till you go a bit higher.Farther in the sky,there are stars that shine true,and you cannot compare.You're just little old you.Those stars are huge.You'll never compare.Don't even try.Don't even dare.You're small and weak.They're big and strong.Your shine is meek,and theirs is long.So just give up.There's nothing to do.You're not good enough,yes, it's true.Wait, no.It's not true at all.Those stars may be big,but keep standing tall.You're a star too,no matter the size.Don't believe the insults.Don't believe the lies.Yes your shine is unique,and done your own special way,and that's all that really mattersat the end of the day.So shine your best little star,and know this to be true.You may not be perfect,but you're perfectly you.
Stolen from the LightThere was a girlan innocent girluntil the dark stole herfrom the lightAnd the dark broke herIt washed the colour from her eyesand replaced the green with goldHer world bent over backwardsbecause she no longer saw the lightonly the darkAnd then everyone shut her outWhen she smiled, it was no longer an innocent smileNothing could hurt her anymoreBecause if it didShe’d hit backAnd then the dark toyed with herShe played with menShe played with their mindsuntil they broke tooShe was no longer innocentAnd then she gave up a part of herselfShe stopped feeling one thing there was left to feel;guiltBecause she finally acceptedThat the dark had stolen herThe dark had stolen her from the Light
skinwalkershe was a vicious prion,anomalous & infectious—my fractured mind was theperfectly unsuspecting host.i was so ashamed of life& you had all the answers."don't let me go,"she hissed each night,coating my flesh in adespondent cancer.(it was just too damn easy to grasp your viral hands.)i know my ribcage is almost on empty& my heart is converting to toxic waste,but i still have a feverish serum in my veins& a voice not yet conquered by broken bones.your plague of malevolenceshall never govern me again.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,and she asked, "How are you?""Just fine," I replied.She said, "No, tell me what's true."Perplexed, I stopped and stared.She was young, no older than eight.Her eyes were still innocent.They knew no hate."What did you say?"I asked in confusion."You know what I mean," she said.This girl was in a delusion.Trying to be kind,I replied,"No I do not."She frowned and replied,"You lie quite a lot."Now I was agitated.What does this girl know?Acting like she's so intelligent.I'll just tell her to go."Let me explain!"She exclaimed in haste."I know you're not alright.I know you feel misplaced."What?How in the world?What's happening?Who is this little girl?"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.Though your friends will leave,leave you feeling alone and cold,you'll find a reprieve.""So just stay strongbecause I know you can do it."How? Who are you?I wished she would quit.Suddenly it was silent,and I turned to see,but there was no one there at al
Alone in this world.Are you okay? Yes, I am.Are you afraid?Yes, I am.Will you ever be afraid of nothing? Will you ever be completely happy?Someday all your feelings will stop roughingAll of them are becoming scrappy.Being okay is not what it seems"okay" is a word of slothit may be a word of dreamsbut mostly it's a word of both.Sadness and reclusion.
Notes On love and LustThese are my notesOn love and lust:One is true, andThe other is just.Love is watching the pianistPlay, admiring at a distance.Lust is watching the fingers dance,Mouth watering to offer assistance.Lust is the demonIn the middle of the night.Love is the shelter,The tunnel before the light.Love is the enemy,The inhibitor of the soul.Lust is the freedom,The bridge above the troll.Lust is the hated,That moment of sin.Love is the saviour,That we are lost within.But lust brings joy,And that fun little spark.Love brings safety,And saves broken hearts.These are my notesOn love and lustOne is true and,The other is just.I do not ask,For one or the otherJust that freedom be free,And that freedom not smother.So while where here now,Decide amongst yourselves,Which is the true?And which is the just?
I'm the little girlI'm the little girlwho doesn't sleep very wellI'm the little girlWho writes in the darkI'm the little girlWho barely see's what's going downI'm the little girlWith the pills in her handwho doesn't know what it's like to be gone