I Am Judas' Kiss

i tell You i love You while hiding it from the world.
i ask You to give me the words i need to say while forcing words out that this sinful society feels comfortable with.
i beg for forgiveness as i continue to sin over and over and over again.
i cry when i can't feel You near but i push You away when You get too close to me, my wants and my past sinful deeds.
i raise my hands with the praise band's song before and after i use them to do unspeakable things.
lather.
rinse.
repeat.
lather.
rinse.
repeat.
lather.
rin...
i tell my friends and family that i believe in You but i dont seem to have the courage to actually love You.
i lie and i plunder and i lust and i hate

but You love me anyways